…every apple in the house has one bite taken out of it.
…every flat surface is covered with crumbs.
…everything you own is sticky.
…you have at least 4 of every. single. thing.
…you ask the dog to stop whining and “use his words.”
…”sleeping in” means you’re up by 6:30.
…you understand why mama bears porridge was cold.
…a Sharpie without a cap makes you break out in a cold sweat.
…you don’t remember the last time you slept in your bed alone or had your whole pillow to yourself.
…you accidentally find yourself humming the theme song to Paw Patrol or worse, Caillou.
…you start thinking hostage negotiation seems like a reasonable career choice once the kids go to school.
…you dream about going to the bathroom alone. Or anywhere alone.
…your mom voice is so good you have the neighbors brushing their teeth and picking up their shoes.
…you do so much laundry you figure there must be people living in your house that you haven’t met yet.
…you say previously unimaginable things like “your brothers face is not a seat” and “the bathtub is not a potty”.
…you discuss poop with your spouse at least 3x a day.
…someone in the house is always crying and a lot of times it’s you.
…you know you can ruin someones entire day by giving them the wrong color cup. But you also know there is no “right” color cup.
…you consider buying stock in peanut butter.
…you realize silence is not golden – it’s terrifying.
…there are Cherrios in your shoes.
…no one is tired until it’s time to clean up the toys and then everyone is exhausted.
…you answer the same question 1,000,000 times a day. And it’s always about a cookie.
…you take 2,700 steps between 1:00 AM and 6:00 AM.
…you’ve Googled how many calories cleaning up Legos burns.
…you have 20 tissues in your pocket at any given time.
…you look forward to bedtime like it’s Christmas but then sit up late looking at pictures of the kids.
…you really start to “get” the concept of entropy.
…an out of harmony “Itsy Bitsy Spider” is the greatest thing you’ve ever heard.
…the best day of your life was the day you overheard their fight about who loves mama more.
…you get double snuggles, double hugs and double kisses.