Wendy

So things aren’t going so well…

Posted on April 28, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Motherhood, Weight loss .

My exercise and weight loss goals have been severely derailed. Who’s surprised? Raise your hand. I know, I know. No one.

I actually did ok for the first week – I jogged for 5 days out of 7 and my weekly step average was 9,892 steps/day. My goal was 10,000 steps a day but a long day of meetings coupled with some rain messed me up. And I did pretty well eating healthy – I ate the same things as my family but I decreased my overall portion size, eliminated all the starchy carbs like mac-n-cheese and mashed potatoes, and increased my servings of vegetables. I also upped my water intake.

Week 2 is when it got ugly. I went out to visit my friends with newborn twins, and it was lovely. The beer and margaritas and pizza and ice cream were also lovely. And there was no way I was I was going to go leave those beautiful babies to go run in the rain. Nope. And then I went to a conference for 5 days. Could someone please tell me how I thought I was going to eat well and avoid alcohol at a geology conference? Clearly, I didn’t think this through, and also I have zero willpower. Now, I did eat better than I could have and I got a lot of walking in, but I definitely came home feeling bloated and defeated. So now I have 7.5 weeks left to get this done. But I am not going to panic. Nope. I’m going to channel this energy into action.

I went jogging yesterday and I’m going again tomorrow. I’ve got a healthy breakfast and lunch ready for tomorrow and I’m going to drink water until I slosh. And I’m going to commit to posting another “progress” picture in 2 weeks to help motivate me to actually make some progress.

How is everyone else doing? Any progress to report?

Parenting – not as advertised

Posted on April 7, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Advice, Motherhood .

Really? Who are these weirdos? All in white, no covers, smashing their poor kid and breathing each other’s morning breath? No thanks.

The reality of pregnancy and parenting is not like what they sell you in brochure. It’s 20% baby giggles and splashing in the bath tub and first steps and 80% getting pooped on, peeling clementine’s, and asking “why is this wet?” It’s hard and it’s messy and it can be really lonely. You realize that are are an unbelievable number of things you didn’t know (like that pregnancy actually lasts for 10 months, for instance) and there are even more things that everyone knows about but doesn’t talk about (like hemorrhoids, cracked nipples and post-partum depression).

During my pregnancy and after the birth of my boys I was lucky enough to be part of a secret Facebook group where mothers can honestly and openly ask questions, voice fears and ask for advice. Our rule is that there is no “sanctimommy” allowed (“Sanctimommy is a portmanteau of two words, sanctimonious and mommy. The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility”). I realised as I was reading through the posts the other day that we have a huge amount of accumulated experience (I won’t go so far as to say wisdom) so I asked these honest and upfront women what their advice would be to new moms. Here is their list.

It is 100% okay to not love every minute of pregnancy and parenthood and to sometimes hate it and resent it. Even if you struggled to become a parent. Even if people you love are struggling to become parents. Even if everyone is telling you “it goes by so fast; enjoy it while you can!” You don’t have to feel #blessed all the time.
Trust your instincts.
Do what works for YOU. Not what everyone says you should be doing. No one baby is like another.
Motherhood can be really lonely, especially in the first 3 months, and you may not have that mythical, deep connection everybody goes on and on about right away. (Or, hell, at all. I love my daughter very much, but I don’t have a mythical earth goddess kind of love, particularly when she has morning breath.)
Someone told me “Your baby needs a mother, not a martyr.” That was a game changer for me.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps” is bullshit
Learn to smile and say “thanks I will keep that in mind” when people give you advice that you plan on ignoring and then carry on with your bad self.
Post partum depression is really real, and it can really be helped and that is ok.
Your mental health and happiness is more important than breastfeeding. Your baby will be healthier and happier if you are healthy and happy regardless of whether they are formula feed or breastfeed.
Having a baby is f**** boring sometimes. A lot of the time. It’s not hard, but it’s -always-.
No points for martyrdom in motherhood.
You may not love your baby right away. That’s ok, you don’t even know them yet! The love will come.
No one’s life is as easy or perfect as it appears on social media.
Don’t forget about yourself.
Don’t. Forget. Yourself.
Your children are everything, yes, but so are you, to them. Take care of yourself. Let them spend the day watching TV while you hide in your room for the day if you need it. They will be fine, I promise. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.
You actually have to wash behind your kids ears.
It’s normal to keep waiting for the “it’s worth it” part. And it’s ok to hate it sometimes – the “it’s worth it” feeling eventually comes.
Surround yourself with people that support you and are honest and real. Not with crazy people who want to compete with you in the Mommy Wars.
Don’t be above accepting help when it’s offered.
Listen to advice, but it doesn’t mean you have to accept it. But listen, some people give good advice and you might need it later.
Anything said by or to your partner at 3 am when you are up with the kids does not count and is not to be held against the other person.
The days are long but the years are short.
You know your kids and if your doctor won’t listen, find a new one.
When I told a friend, who had had twins the year before, that I was pregnant, she looked me right in the eye and said: “There will be a point where you want to literally kill your kid. This does not make you a bad person. This makes you human. Learn when you need to walk away.” She said it so intensely that I knew she was serious and she was 100% right. We all have that moment.
No one mom is right. What works for you might not be good for someone else. Also, no two kids are alike.
It’s ok to hate/dislike/not want to always be around your kids- moms need small breaks too. (Just in the beginning if you notice it more than not check into post partum services to make sure you aren’t experiencing that.)
If you get PPD, don’t get down on yourself- millions of ladies get it so be honest and get the help you need to feel better.
Trust yourself and trust your kids.
Try to avoid getting caught up in comparing yourself or your kids to others around you. Every kid is different and develops differently, because she doesn’t walk until 14 months or he doesn’t read until second grade or want to hold a pencil until kindergarten is an indication of absolutely nothing. Let them be and do and become what they are meant to be and do and become at their own pace as much as you can. It is not a race and it is how they were designed to be, just trust them.
Your friends without kids might become distant…this is normal and there is nothing wrong w you
Aquaphor can cure almost anything.
The thing that saved me post birth was FIBER!!!! Stool softeners were for wusses!!!
Don’t feel guilty if you use formula.
Keep a stash of chocolate in your closet for when you need a break. Sometimes you just need a little something for yourself that you don’t have to share!
When it comes to social media, etc., ask yourself if your kid in 10 years would be ok with that picture or that detail being shared.
When planning an activity for your kid (or trying to force them to do something), ask yourself if you are doing it bc they would enjoy it or if you’re doing it for the [facebook, instagram, whatever] picture. If solely (or even mostly) the latter, stop.
Teach body autonomy early on. Kid doesn’t have to hug or kiss anyone they don’t want to–yes, even grandparents. Their body, their choice. (Studies show this might prevent sexual molestation bc kids are less apt to feel pressured to give in to unwanted touching).
Buy all the meds you might need right away (they don’t expire for a while). It beats having to do a 3 a.m. Tylenol run.
Put down the mom books and hide the sanctimommy blogs.
Be prepared to eat every word you ever uttered about anyone else’s parenting (when you were the perfect parent before having kids).
Never say never. I swore I would NEVER EVER cosleep or breastfeed past a year. But with my 2nd she slept with me for almost a year and I BF her for 2. It’s what worked for us.

Post-partum depression (PPD) is real and it’s much more prevalent than reported. If you think you may have PPD please call your doctor. It’s not your fault, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom, and it’s treatable.

Time to get in shape for summer – who’s with me?

Posted on April 5, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Motherhood, Twins, Weight loss .

I’m about to do a thing and it scares me. I’m about to post about fitness and nutrition and put pictures of myself in a bathing suit on the internet. I think I’ve lost my mind. I am not a fitness and nutrition person. I hate sports and jogging and the gym. I love pizza and salt and vinegar chips and wine and margaritas. So know that I realize that this is total madness.

But here’s the thing. I’m going to the beach for a week in the middle of June where I will (presumably) be wearing a bathing suit. Now, I’ve known that this was coming but did that stop me from eating pizza and drinking wine this weekend? No. Did it keep me from having delicious Thai food for lunch yesterday? No. No it did not. Now I’m not overweight (thank you genetics), but it’s been a long winter and the, um, “fluff” has accumulated. I feel bloated and out of sorts. And I’m out of shape – very out of shape. And it’s embarrassing to admit but I can’t fit into my favorite shorts and if I can’t fit in to my shorts then putting on my bathing suit is really going to make me cry.

The problem, though, is that I have 3 kids, a husband, a full-time job, a 4 hour daily commute, a consulting business on the side, 2 cats, a house that requires upkeep and yard maintenance, a leadership position in a women’s advocacy group and I occasionally like to sleep and bathe. When, exactly, am I going to exercise? Or cook a bunch of healthy food just for myself, because we all know that my family isn’t going to eat zoodles and salads. And it isn’t just me. We’re all busy. Super busy. How can we fit some amount of exercise and self-care into our already over-packed and scheduled lives?

That’s what I’m going to try and find out. I’m going to document my efforts to exercise, eat healthier and fit into my shorts. You are going to keep me honest and accountable. The objective here isn’t necessarily to lose weight (although I will *gulp* report my weight changes) – the point is to feel better and look better. And I have to do it in 10 weeks.

So, here we are at the “before”. God, I hate the before. The before is so humiliating.

Starting Weight – 130.2 lbs.
Starting Exercise –Walking; Fitbit step count average is 5,256 steps/day.
Diet – Does pizza with peppers and onions count as a diet?

Before Picture (shield your eyes from my blinding whiteness)

Plan

Weight and Health
- To fit into my shorts – the number on the scale doesn’t matter
- To build some muscle mass
- To get healthier!
Exercise
- Increase step count to 10,000 steps/day
- Start doing the free Couch to 5K running app at least 2x a week
- Sit on an exercise ball at work for at least 3 hours a day
- Maybe take a yoga class once in while and see if that’s possible with my DR (see below)
Diet
- Use the Fitbit app to watch my calorie intake
- Try out new, healthier versions of what my family already eats (thank you Pinterest!)
- Cut out all alcohol and fried foods except for one cheat day a week.
- (**If I find any great healthy recipes I’ll share them here).

**Another thing I need to work on is my “completely open” diastasic recti (DR) – or separated stomach muscles. This is a pretty common condition after carrying a big baby (or multiples) and it affects core strength, pelvic floor function and overall strength. It also causes the “mom pooch”. My case is pretty bad – I can fit 3 fingers to the knuckle into the gap between my stomach muscles (thanks to carrying 15 lbs of babies and 6 lbs of placenta). The tough part for me is that most of the types of exercise that I enjoy, like yoga and pilates, need to be severally curtailed or avoided all together until you’ve either had the DR surgically repaired or you’ve strengthened your transverse abdominus sufficiently, which I haven’t done. So, I’m going to work on strengthening those muscles by doing these exercises at least 4 times a week. And I’m going to try to do some yoga but will avoid the problematic poses.

I’ll post weekly to give you an update and report on what’s working and what’s not working. Here we go y’all! (Anybody want to do this with me? PLEASE?)

You Know You Have 2-Year-Old Twins When…

Posted on March 31, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Motherhood, Twins .

“All done apple”

…every apple in the house has one bite taken out of it.

…every flat surface is covered with crumbs.

…everything you own is sticky.

…you have at least 4 of every. single. thing.

…you ask the dog to stop whining and “use his words.”

…”sleeping in” means you’re up by 6:30.

…you understand why mama bears porridge was cold.

…a Sharpie without a cap makes you break out in a cold sweat.

…you don’t remember the last time you slept in your bed alone or had your whole pillow to yourself.

…you accidentally find yourself humming the theme song to Paw Patrol or worse, Caillou.

…you start thinking hostage negotiation seems like a reasonable career choice once the kids go to school.

…you dream about going to the bathroom alone. Or anywhere alone.

…your mom voice is so good you have the neighbors brushing their teeth and picking up their shoes.

…you do so much laundry you figure there must be people living in your house that you haven’t met yet.

…you say previously unimaginable things like “your brothers face is not a seat” and “the bathtub is not a potty”.

…you discuss poop with your spouse at least 3x a day.

…someone in the house is always crying and a lot of times it’s you.

…you know you can ruin someones entire day by giving them the wrong color cup. But you also know there is no “right” color cup.

“All done sandwich”

…you consider buying stock in peanut butter.

…you realize silence is not golden – it’s terrifying.

…there are Cherrios in your shoes.

…no one is tired until it’s time to clean up the toys and then everyone is exhausted.

…you answer the same question 1,000,000 times a day. And it’s always about a cookie.

…you take 2,700 steps between 1:00 AM and 6:00 AM.

…you’ve Googled how many calories cleaning up Legos burns.

…you have 20 tissues in your pocket at any given time.

…you look forward to bedtime like it’s Christmas but then sit up late looking at pictures of the kids.

…you really start to “get” the concept of entropy.

…an out of harmony “Itsy Bitsy Spider” is the greatest thing you’ve ever heard.

…the best day of your life was the day you overheard their fight about who loves mama more.

…you get double snuggles, double hugs and double kisses.

A day in the life of newborn twins

Posted on March 3, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Twins .

One of my close friends had twins last month. She had a lovely and uneventful pregnancy and her babies, a boy and a girl, were born healthy and required no NICU time. Now that the worry of a safe and healthy delivery is over I find myself thinking of her and the next challenges that she’s going to face. My mom and husband and I all exchange forced chuckles and slightly stricken looks when we talk about those early weeks and months with our twins because, wow, it was hard.

The hardest part for me was the feeding. I talk about this a lot because it was MY ENTIRE LIFE. Only one of my boys would latch so I was nursing one and pumping for the other and supplementing with formula when needed. That sounds reasonable, right? It seems like it should be totally doable. But the reality of it was completely overwhelming. Here’s a breakdown of a normal feeding schedule.

Get Baby A to latch and nurse him for 5 minutes
Burp him while rocking sleeping Baby B in the Rock n’ Play.
Relatch Baby A and nurse for another 10 minutes.
Burp again.
Wait to see if Baby A is still hungry and supplement if needed.
Change Baby A and put him in the swing.
Change Baby B’s diaper and outfit because he pooped on himself while he was asleep. Clean out Rock n’ Play. Put Baby B in bouncy chair.
Sit down to pump for Baby B. Get pump situated and start pumping. Remember that I forgot to pee.
Pump for 10 minutes.
Briefly stop pumping to pick up Baby B because he’s crying. Start pumping again but while holding Baby B.
Stop pumping before I’m done because Baby A is crying and I have to pee. Put Baby B in the swing. Go pee while trying to comfort Baby A.
Wash hands and rinse out pump parts while holding Baby A.
Trade out babies in the Rock n’ Play. Put fresh pumped breast milk in bottle and start to feed Baby B while trying to comfort Baby A who is still crying. Why is he crying?
Burp Baby B. Joyful moment when Baby A falls asleep.
Finish feeding Baby B breast milk bottle while rocking Baby A in the Rock n’ Play with foot because if I stop he’ll wake up.
Burp and change Baby B while still trying to rock Baby A.
Baby B is rooting so supplement with bottle of formula.
Burp Baby B.
Put Baby B in swing where he falls asleep.
Pick up Baby A who woke up when I stop rocking him. Rock him in the rocking chair until he falls asleep and unsuccessfully try to transfer him back to the Rock ‘n Play. Realize that he peed on me while in the rocking chair.
Change Baby A and put him in the Rock n’ Play.
Go and change clothes, or maybe not because Baby B is crying.
Pick up Baby B who woke up when Baby A cried about being wet.
Rock Baby B in the rocking chair until he falls asleep.
Record the timing and amount of all feedings and all diaper changes for all babies while rocking Baby B.
Go downstairs with sleeping Baby B and make more bottles of formula.
Cry, because Baby A is scheduled to feed again in 5 minutes.
Do this, ad nauseum, day and night, for months.

And now imagine trying to do that AT NIGHT IN THE DARK.

And do you see what’s not listed? Eating. And sleeping. And bathing. And visiting with people. And doing anything that doesn’t involve babies or boobies.

I was so lucky. I had a constant stream of people who came to help me – my mom, my sister, my MIL and SIL, all of my aunts, my BFF. Ro’s godparents came over and brought dinner every Wed. These lovely people are the only reason that I ate. Or slept. Or bathed. And I am so grateful.

So as I watch my dear friend starting down this road I laugh and sigh and pack my bags because this time, thankfully, I am the cavalry.

Babies don’t keep

Posted on October 26, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Uncategorized .

Babies don’t keep

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my babies and babies don’t keep.

Author: Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Swaddled in Aden and Anais

Do I need two of everything?

Posted on August 7, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Gear .

Shopping for twins – do you really need double?

Having twins is daunting, and not just because carrying twins is hard or because having two babies to care for is difficult. It’s also expensive! How do you know what you need right now and what you can buy later? How many of each thing do you REALLY need? Do you need the most expensive version or will a less pricy version work just as well?

I had the pleasure of shopping with a twin mom-to-be last month and I kept a mental journal of things to remember so that I could share them with you. Here goes!

YOU NEED TWO (or more) OF THESE THINGS

Want to sleep? Get a Rock and Play, or 2!

Rock ‘n Play – This is one of the most important and essential things that you’ll need, and you’ll need two of them. For the first several months, or even half a year (or more), the babies won’t spend much time in their crib/s (see below); they will sleep in these suckers. These are lightweight, portable, rockable, and magical. When they’re tiny, tiny babies you use these types of inserts to keep them from puddling in the bottom. Seriously, get these. Two of them.

Rock ‘n Play all the way!

See that crib in the background where no one is sleeping? Yep. Rock ‘n Play is the way to go.

The must have blankets – Aden and Anais

Aden and Anais blankets – These are pretty expensive considering that they’re just blankets, but they’re worth it. They come in various sizes but the larger ones are more versatile. You can and will use them for everything! They can be used as a swaddle, a “laying on blanket”, a nursing cover, a spit up rag and as, well, a blanket. They’re soft, lightweight and easy to stuff in a diaper bag. Now that my guys are older I use them when we have picnics outside. We had a ton of different blankets and these are by far the most useful. Notice they are in literally every. single. picture.

Activity Saucers

Activity Saucers – We called these command centers and you definitely need two – and get two that are different. Once your twins are able to sit up on their own you can keep them active in these bad boys for long enough to actually get some stuff done around the house, or read a chapter in a book. Then swap out who’s in which and you get another 10-15 minutes! They take up a lot of space but they’re totally worth it. My guys LOVED THEM.

Infantino Sash Mei Tai Carrier

Baby Carriers – You could get by with only having one baby carrier, but I found it nice to have 2 so that my husband could also wear a baby. We would use them on walks around the neighborhood or in places where a stroller was impractical, like at the beach or on a hike. I had 2 different kinds because babies and parents had different preferences for fit, etc. (For more info on Baby Carriers see my previous post)

High Chairs

High Chairs – You need two of these but there’s no need to get the super pricey ones. What you want to look for are high chairs where 1) the cushion/fabric part comes off easily for washing, 2) there is a removable top tray for easy washing, and 3) the footprint of the chair isn’t too big. This is especially important if you have limited space in your kitchen.

Changing Table pad – Get at least 2 of these. One to go on your changing table and one to go in whatever room you will be spending most of your time. And get used to changing diapers on the floor. It’s just so much easier.

Diaper Disposal – Unless your nursery is right off of your living room you’ll need one of these for the living area and one for the nursery. We have this kind and we like it. It does require special bags but I think most of them do.

Car mirrors – When my friend took me to start my baby registry she told me that I needed car mirrors to see the babies. I scanned one on to the registry and was ready to move on. “Are you planning on choosing a favorite and only checking on that one?”, she said. So unless you have a favorite you’re willing to admit to you need 2 of these.

Notebooks – Please make sure you have 2 small notebooks, one for each baby. When you get home from the hospital you have to keep track of how much each baby eats and when, how many wet diapers each baby has and how many soiled diapers they have. It seems straightforward but when it’s 2 in the morning and you can’t remember which baby you just changed and who you just feed…..just trust me. Get 2 notebooks in different colors and write their name on the front. You’re welcome. Also get 1000 pencils (not pens).

ONLY GET ONE OF THESE AND SAVE ALL THE MONEY!

Tiny baby in a huge crib

Cribs – I had to look carefully through all of my old pictures to find even one picture of one of them in a crib, because they were never, ever in it. Eventually you’re going to need two, but save your money upfront because you’re only going to need one (or none) for the first 6 months at least. Did I mention the Rock ‘n Play?

Baby Swing

Swing and Bouncy Chair – Both of these are great tools for soothing and rocking your babies, BUT you really only need one of each. In my case, Z preferred the swing but liked the bouncy chair for a change, and Ro hated them both (he only ever wanted to be in the Rock and Play on vibrate). Save your money, get one of each and if they both happen to love the swing and hate the bouncy chair you can always get another swing. And unless you have money to burn don’t bother to get one of these fancy baby swing things that looks like a space ship and mimics 32 different types of motion. Every baby I’ve ever met is perfectly happy in one of these suckers.

Bouncy Chair

Pack and Play – This was one of the first things I got when I found out I was pregnant with twins and I got the twin version, which is bigger and had 2 bassinets on top. My thought was that we could use that when we went to visit grandparents. Full disclosure – I never used the bassinets because they always slept in the Rock and Plays, which traveled with us everywhere (did I mention that they’re very portable?). BUT, I used the Pack and Play a ton when they got older and I was glad that it was extra big so that they both could play in it comfortably. Pack and Plays have wheels so they’re somewhat mobile, but they’re heavy and don’t navigate standard doorways well. I would often take ours our in the backyard through the sliding glass doors and have the boys plays in it while I swam in the pool or worked in the garden. Now, we use it as the time out area. Scott calls it “the penalty box”.

Baby play mat

Play Mat – They really only use these when they’re too little to crawl around, which means you can easily fit two babies on one of these mats. Take the money you’d spend on this and buy yourself a nice bottle of wine.

Changing table – I don’t think this needs to be said, but you can only wipe one butt at a time so there’s no need for 2 changing tables. Just make sure you get extra changing table pads and you’re good.

Also, try to avoid falling in to the trap of “I have twins thus everything they have must be the same”. Variety is good, and your babies will have their own preferences, so try out different things.

Are they twins?

Posted on July 3, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Twin Pregnancy, Twins .

Twin_FAQ

Twins are pretty unusual. The CDC says that there are “more than 132,000 sets of twins out of 3.9 million births of all kinds each year, which is about 3.4%, or 1 in 30”. So when people see twins, they ask questions. Some of the questions are good, some are hilarious and some are downright weird. Here are the most common ones that I’ve gotten – so far. twins

When they were infants people would ask me “How do you tell them apart?” — They never looked alike to me. Ro had a longer face and dimple in his chin. Z had a wider face and more olive shaped eyes. And they had completely different personalities, even in utero. Do you have 2 chocolate labs? How do you tell them apart?
Now that they’re toddlers people say “They don’t look alike. Are you sure they’re twins?” – Yep, I’m positive. Would you like photographic proof?
7 months pregnant with twins and 7 months post partum
Do twins run in your family? – My polite answer is “They do now”. Sometimes I say, “My husband’s father has twin sisters”. Those that remember high school bio think for a minute and then start to look confused. *The chance of having twins is controlled by the female. You get twins when two eggs are released at the same time, or when an egg splits. The propensity to release multiple eggs at once is genetically (or sometimes age) controlled.
How do you do it? – I don’t know. How do you do it? I just do what needs to be done! That being said, it’s really, really hard. Giving and getting support from other moms and from my family and friends has been critically important. If it takes a village to raise a child it takes an entire city to raise twins! It also helps to know that I’m not alone, so I get together with other MoM’s as much as I can.
Did you want twins? – Easy one. Yes.
Do you want to have another baby? – Depends on the day but usually no! But now that they’re stinky toddlers I miss that baby head smell.
Do you have 2 of everything? – No, we have 4 of everything because they each need a thing in both hands or it’s a battle to the death.
Do they get along? – They’re almost always together so they get on each other’s nerves a lot. But they’ve recently started to play together and to talk to each other. Sometimes they sit and babble and giggle with each other behind the couch.
Do they have the same personality? – Not at all. They’ve been different from the moment they were conceived. Ro is my crazy baby – we call him Mr. Personality. He loves people and loves to be the center of attention. He stomps around the house wearing everyone’s “sues” and gives big hugs and bright smiles. Z is a thinker – we call him Mr. Suspicious. He likes to sit back and observe. He is very quiet and reserved and mechanical. When he figured out that his little fingers weren’t strong enough to move the latch on the baby gate he took the gate apart at the hinges. He likes order and routine and will even put himself in time out when he’s done something wrong.
Do they sleep together? – No, but they don’t really sleep much so there’s that.
How much weight did you gain when you were pregnant? – Come on people, really? But whatever, I’ll you. I was 122 lbs when I got pregnant and 183 lbs when I delivered, so I gained a total of 61 lbs when I was pregnant. However, I was 134 lbs when I returned home from the hospital so a large percentage of that weight was babies and water. So the answer is either 61 lbs or 12 lbs, depending on your perspective.
Twins on the inside and twins on the outside

What questions have you gotten about your twins?

Pretty much this. Every day.

Baby Wearing – what worked for me

Posted on July 2, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Gear .

Baby wearing with a K’Tan

I have always loved watching mamas walk around wearing their little tiny babies next to their chest. Those babies look so snuggly and comfortable all tucked in tight. I have a vivid memory of my best friend strolling around the neighborhood pushing her wide-eyed 3 year old in the stroller with her newborn daughter cradled in a bright tribal ring sling, contentedly and discreetly nursing. So when I found out I was expecting twins I was super excited about wearing TWO little babies snuggled up to my chest!

Reality check – that is MUCH harder than it looks. I never was able to wear both of my babies at once. See, the problem was getting them both in the carrier at the same time. You either need two people or a very specific kind of talent to get both babies properly positioned, lifted and strapped in safely at the same time. And you can’t drop either of them, not even once. I once had to wear one of those convertible dresses in my sisters wedding and I couldn’t even keep my boobs from falling out, and those are attached to me. So you can understand why I was hesitant to try and secure my precious newborns. That being said, I did baby wear but I only wore one baby at a time. This worked out for us, more or less, mainly because Z-bone loved to be held and snuggled and would sleep for hours and hours if he was in a sling on my chest but Ro-$ HATED to be confined. He always hated swaddles and blankets and socks and slings and anything that kept him from being the wild baby that he is. So I would put Z in the carrier and put Ro in the swing (or bouncy seat) and then I could have 5 minutes to do the dishes, or rinse bottles, or feed the dog. There was a period of time where I wore Z all the time, because it was the only time he would sleep. He would fuss and fuss but as soon as I popped him in the K’tan he was out. I also would baby wear on those rare occasions when I went out or when we went to the airport. So, I’m going to tell you about the carriers that I liked and the ones that just didn’t work for me. This would also be relevant for singleton moms since I never wore my babies at the same time.

Carrier Reviews – the good the bad and the impossible

There are a ton of excellent videos and “how-to’s” out there that can help you to master the basics of baby wearing. I’m just going to tell you about my experience with several different carriers. I’m not terribly coordinated so keep that in mind!! There are also lots of local baby wearing groups that will let you try on (and exchange) different carriers as well as help you figure out the proper placement of your baby. If possible, try on a few different carriers but keep in mind that it’s a whole different ballgame when you’re trying to put a screaming, wiggly baby (or babies) into one of these contraptions! Ease of operation is key.

K’tan

The K’tan – This was by far my favorite of the carriers that I used. It’s basically 2 thick cloth straps connected by a ring of fabric. You twist or crisscross the straps in different ways to put your baby in different positions. There’s also a separate piece of cloth that you use to secure the baby once it’s positioned. I felt like this carrier was very secure and that I had a lot of flexibility about where I could position my baby. I usually carried him diagonally against my chest. When they’re older this can also be used in a supported hip carry, which is nice. I also liked that there weren’t any long straps that dragged on the ground when I was trying to put it on. (Don’t examine my technique too closely in the picture – I was still in the process of figuring how to do it correctly!)

Infantino Sash Mei Tai Carrier

The Infantino Sash Mei Tai Carrier – I liked this one for when the boys were older. You tie it snuggly around your waist and then place the baby against your chest, raising the carrier up against them. Then you take another pair of straps and cross them over your shoulders and behind your back and then bring them forward and tie them securely across the baby. I used this one all the time when we were traveling or when I was out shopping with the babies. It doesn’t have a hard frame so it was easy to shove into the diaper bag or a suitcase. The main thing that I didn’t like is that the long straps drag on the ground when you’re putting it on. This one is good because it’s easy to position the baby with their head facing your chest or with them facing out so they can look around.

The Moby – I tried it twice, watched all of the videos on how to use it, but never felt comfortable with it so I sold it when they were 2 months old. It felt like an origami baby carrier, or convertible dress (see above). Kudos to you ninja mamas who are able to work this thing! Some people love it and it’s very affordable so if you can find someone to let you practice with it you may find that it works for you. Or, if you’re good with convertible dresses this may be right up your alley!

Mamaway Baby Sling Carrier (Ring Sling) – I didn’t own one of these but I borrowed one from a friend for a few weeks to try it out. It was awesome! By the time I used it my guys were almost too heavy for me to carry so I never bought one, but if I have another baby I will definitely get one of these. It was super easy to put on and the baby felt very secure and seemed really comfortable. One of the great things about this one is that you can use it for newborns (like a pouch) and for older kids in a supported hip carry. Plus, the hippie in me really loves all of the bright, fun designs available from Mamaway.

Beco Gemini – I never tried this one myself but my other BFF tried a million carriers and and once she found this she raved about it so much that I have to include it. She said

“This carrier was amazing! No need for the newborn insert because when he was in he was nice and snug. One snap and that was it!”

Remember, there are a huge range of carriers to choose from so be sure to do your homework. Plus, what works for one mom may not work for another so always try them out first if you can. Finally, you can usually find carriers at your local consignment shop, so be sure to check there and save yourself some money!

Napping in the Ktan carrier

Do you have a carrier that you love? Were you able to effectively baby wear your twins? Tell me about it in the comments!

Ktan napping

They see us strollin’, they hatin’

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Gear .

Babies require a lot of stuff; an overwhelming amount of stuff in fact. And there are an overwhelming number of options to choose from. When I was pregnant, a friend with kids took me to Babies R’ Us and went through the store with me to help me figure out what I would need. Even with her help I had a complete breakdown in the stroller aisle. Side by side or front and back???!?!? Strollers were my breaking point, so I’m here for you with stroller advice.

Graco Fold Duo Click and Connect Stroller and car seats (shown here with Great Aunt V)

We ended up going for the Graco Fold Duo Click Connect stroller and car seat combo (above). This model is great because the car seats click directly into the stroller so there’s no need to transfer your newborns from their car seat into a stroller seat. And, when they’ve outgrown their car seats the stroller has regular seats – no need to buy another stroller. The seats sit up and recline so the babies can lie down and nap or sit up and look around. I wanted a side-by-side stroller so that they could both see out the front and so that they could sit next to each other and talk. Even though it’s a side by side it steers really easily, fits through every door we encountered and is well made and sturdy. There are some cons, however, so I’ll list out both pros and cons.

Pros:

It fit through all doors without difficulty.
Sturdy and well made.
Easy to push and steer.
Nice looking stroller.
Very reasonably priced.
The clip and connect functionality is really the only way to go.

Cons:

It’s very heavy. Like, really really heavy. And it’s a difficult size and shape to lift so I had quite a bit of trouble getting it in and out of my car. Because of this I never really took it anywhere if I could help it. Of course, when your twins are little you’re not really going anywhere any way.
The clip and connect didn’t always seem to clip on well or easily. It would usually take me 3 or 4 tries to clip in the second seat. This is pretty nerve wracking for an overwhelmed, exhausted new mom.
It was really hard for me to open the stroller. Even after 9 months I wasn’t sure why it would open sometimes and not others. This is a big deal if you’re standing in a hot parking lot with your babies in the car.

Full disclosure: I sold this stroller (and the car seats) as soon as the boys outgrew the car seats and could sit up by themselves. My friend had given us jogging stroller (below) and once I tried that sucker I never looked back.

Also, the car seats from Graco (that go with the stroller) are excellent. I loved them. You can get them in 30 or 40 (which refers to the lbs of the baby) – we got them in 40. Originally ours matched our stroller but our car – which had the car seats installed – was stolen the day before I gave birth. We got the same car seats but not in the same color. *sad face*

Graco car seats

If I had to do it over again I would get something like this
Snap and Connect Stroller Frame. Maybe not that exact make and model but something similar. I have a friend that has one of these and it is just so much easier! It’s smaller and lighter (and cheaper!) and more manageable in general. Especially if you plan to be out and about this is the way to go. Like I said before, the clip and click is vital but when you’re trying to carry around 2 babies and all of their stuff (and your stuff) you don’t need a 50 lb stroller to weigh you down as well.

Now that my guys are older we have 2 strollers that we use. We use this Mini City Jogger for around the neighborhood and this Maclaren for traveling.

City Mini Double Jogging Stroller

The City Mini (above) is perfect for walking around the neighborhood and going to the park. And just to be clear – it has never (let me repeat that – never) been out jogging. It’s easy to steer and push and super easy to get the boys in and out of – which is important. My BFF gave us this one and that girl knows her strollers! It might be worthwhile to wait for a price cut on this bad boy as it’s pretty expensive. The 2 things I don’t like about it- 1) It doesn’t have a cup holder for me and 2) the straps are hard to adjust. Other than that it’s pretty perfect.

Maclaren umbrella

The Maclaren (above) is a total dream. It’s light, it folds up tight, is easy to set up and is excellent for travel. We’ve taking it on several cross country flights and it pretty much lives in the car with us. Honestly, once your kids are old enough to not need infant car seats you have to get this stroller. The only problem with it is that it doesn’t have a lot of “cargo space” so be sure to get a mom clip. Another alternative to the Maclaren would be this one – 16 lbs people!! It’s only 16 lbs! I’ve never used it, but for 16 lbs I’d be willing to try.

We strollin, they hatin

Do you have a twin stroller that you love? Tell me about it in the comments!

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Twinning at MotherHood

Author Archives: Wendy

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Baby Wearing – what worked for me

They see us strollin’, they hatin’