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Category Archives: Eating

Barriers to breastfeeding

Posted on March 19, 2019 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Motherhood .

When I went back to work after having the boys I had to advocate (hard) to be given space to pump milk; the building manager suggested I use the bathroom (um, that’s a hard pass). So when the opportunity to work on a breastfeeding piece for Scientific American arose I jumped at the chance. Here’s the article!

Our goal was to advocate for every woman to be able to make the right choice for her and her baby and to support that choice by reducing institutional barriers that make it harder for women to balance breastfeeding with full-time scientific work. In this piece, we’ve outlined the issues and offered concrete ways that organizations and individuals can support working nursing mothers.

*These Op-Ed’s are part of a 500 Women Scientists campaign called #SciMomJourney that aim to bring visibility to the challenges mothers in science face when starting or building their families. Tell us your scimom story at https://500womenscientists.org/share-your-story

**These challenges are (for the most part) not unique to science! Consider what you can do to make life easier for the mothers in your workplace. Suggestions in the Op-Ed!

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Tags: 500 women scientists, breastfeeding, lactation, lactation spaces, motherhood, nursing, science, scimom, women in science, working mom .

Every body is a beach body

Posted on July 2, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Motherhood, Twin Pregnancy, Weight loss .

Remember how I was going to document my diet and exercise program to try and get in shape for the beach? Well, that didn’t work out.

The first few weeks I wasn’t motivated. Then I was super motivated and was doing great! I was running every day, consistently meeting my step goal, eating well and going to yoga. I felt really good. And then I got bronchitis coupled with a sinus infection and double ear infection. Oof. I could barely walk, much less exercise. 6 weeks and 2 rounds of antibiotics (and several thousand oz of water through the Neti pot) and I’m still not feeling right. 

But you know what? Once I got to the beach it didn’t matter. I built sand castles. I held my boys in the waves. I swam in the pool. I dug for mole crabs. I even carried those two fat toddlers across the cactus patch AT THE SAME TIME! My body was strong. My body was capable. My body was perfect.

It jiggles in some places that used to be solid. It’s not shaped the same way that it was before I had kids. It’s different than it used to be. But I’m different than I used to be. My priorities are different. My expectations of myself, and my body, are different. And now I’m going to make my mindset different.

I’m going to try to keep running because it made me feel good (not during – after). I’m going to keep going to yoga whenever I can despite my diastasis recti, because it centers me. I’m going to keep eating well because I want to be healthy and set a good example for my children. And I’m going to keep in mind the gentle admonishment from my old friend Nancy – every body is beach body when it’s on the beach. 

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Tags: beach body, diet after baby, diet and exercise for moms, self-confidence, weight loss with kids .

Time to get in shape for summer – who’s with me?

Posted on April 5, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Motherhood, Twins, Weight loss .

I’m about to do a thing and it scares me. I’m about to post about fitness and nutrition and put pictures of myself in a bathing suit on the internet. I think I’ve lost my mind. I am not a fitness and nutrition person. I hate sports and jogging and the gym. I love pizza and salt and vinegar chips and wine and margaritas. So know that I realize that this is total madness.

But here’s the thing. I’m going to the beach for a week in the middle of June where I will (presumably) be wearing a bathing suit. Now, I’ve known that this was coming but did that stop me from eating pizza and drinking wine this weekend? No. Did it keep me from having delicious Thai food for lunch yesterday? No. No it did not. Now I’m not overweight (thank you genetics), but it’s been a long winter and the, um, “fluff” has accumulated. I feel bloated and out of sorts. And I’m out of shape – very out of shape. And it’s embarrassing to admit but I can’t fit into my favorite shorts and if I can’t fit in to my shorts then putting on my bathing suit is really going to make me cry.

The problem, though, is that I have 3 kids, a husband, a full-time job, a 4 hour daily commute, a consulting business on the side, 2 cats, a house that requires upkeep and yard maintenance, a leadership position in a women’s advocacy group and I occasionally like to sleep and bathe. When, exactly, am I going to exercise? Or cook a bunch of healthy food just for myself, because we all know that my family isn’t going to eat zoodles and salads. And it isn’t just me. We’re all busy. Super busy. How can we fit some amount of exercise and self-care into our already over-packed and scheduled lives?

That’s what I’m going to try and find out. I’m going to document my efforts to exercise, eat healthier and fit into my shorts. You are going to keep me honest and accountable. The objective here isn’t necessarily to lose weight (although I will *gulp* report my weight changes) – the point is to feel better and look better. And I have to do it in 10 weeks.

So, here we are at the “before”. God, I hate the before. The before is so humiliating.

  • Starting Weight – 130.2 lbs.
  • Starting Exercise –Walking; Fitbit step count average is 5,256 steps/day.
  • Diet – Does pizza with peppers and onions count as a diet?

Before Picture (shield your eyes from my blinding whiteness)

Plan

  • Weight and Health
    • To fit into my shorts – the number on the scale doesn’t matter
    • To build some muscle mass
    • To get healthier!
  • Exercise
    • Increase step count to 10,000 steps/day
    • Start doing the free Couch to 5K running app at least 2x a week
    • Sit on an exercise ball at work for at least 3 hours a day
    • Maybe take a yoga class once in while and see if that’s possible with my DR (see below)
  • Diet
    • Use the Fitbit app to watch my calorie intake
    • Try out new, healthier versions of what my family already eats (thank you Pinterest!)
    • Cut out all alcohol and fried foods except for one cheat day a week.
    • (**If I find any great healthy recipes I’ll share them here).

**Another thing I need to work on is my “completely open” diastasic recti (DR) – or separated stomach muscles. This is a pretty common condition after carrying a big baby (or multiples) and it affects core strength, pelvic floor function and overall strength. It also causes the “mom pooch”. My case is pretty bad – I can fit 3 fingers to the knuckle into the gap between my stomach muscles (thanks to carrying 15 lbs of babies and 6 lbs of placenta). The tough part for me is that most of the types of exercise that I enjoy, like yoga and pilates, need to be severally curtailed or avoided all together until you’ve either had the DR surgically repaired or you’ve strengthened your transverse abdominus sufficiently, which I haven’t done. So, I’m going to work on strengthening those muscles by doing these exercises at least 4 times a week. And I’m going to try to do some yoga but will avoid the problematic poses.

I’ll post weekly to give you an update and report on what’s working and what’s not working. Here we go y’all! (Anybody want to do this with me? PLEASE?)

 

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A day in the life of newborn twins

Posted on March 3, 2017 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Twins .

One of my close friends had twins last month. She had a lovely and uneventful pregnancy and her babies, a boy and a girl, were born healthy and required no NICU time. Now that the worry of a safe and healthy delivery is over I find myself thinking of her and the next challenges that she’s going to face. My mom and husband and I all exchange forced chuckles and slightly stricken looks when we talk about those early weeks and months with our twins because, wow, it was hard.

The hardest part for me was the feeding. I talk about this a lot because it was MY ENTIRE LIFE. Only one of my boys would latch so I was nursing one and pumping for the other and supplementing with formula when needed. That sounds reasonable, right? It seems like it should be totally doable. But the reality of it was completely overwhelming. Here’s a breakdown of a normal feeding schedule.

  1. Get Baby A to latch and nurse him for 5 minutes
  2.  Burp him while rocking sleeping Baby B in the Rock n’ Play.
  3. Relatch Baby A and nurse for another 10 minutes.
  4. Burp again.
  5. Wait to see if Baby A is still hungry and supplement if needed.
  6. Change Baby A and put him in the swing. 
  7. Change Baby B’s diaper and outfit because he pooped on himself while he was asleep. Clean out Rock n’ Play. Put Baby B in bouncy chair.
  8. Sit down to pump for Baby B. Get pump situated and start pumping. Remember that I forgot to pee.
  9. Pump for 10 minutes.
  10. Briefly stop pumping to pick up Baby B because he’s crying. Start pumping again but while holding Baby B.
  11. Stop pumping before I’m done because Baby A is crying and I have to pee. Put Baby B in the swing. Go pee while trying to comfort Baby A.
  12. Wash hands and rinse out pump parts while holding Baby A.
  13. Trade out babies in the Rock n’ Play. Put fresh pumped breast milk in bottle and start to feed Baby B while trying to comfort Baby A who is still crying. Why is he crying?
  14. Burp Baby B. Joyful moment when Baby A falls asleep.
  15. Finish feeding Baby B breast milk bottle while rocking Baby A in the Rock n’ Play with foot because if I stop he’ll wake up.
  16. Burp and change Baby B while still trying to rock Baby A.
  17. Baby B is rooting so supplement with bottle of formula.
  18. Burp Baby B.
  19. Put Baby B in swing where he falls asleep.
  20. Pick up Baby A who woke up when I stop rocking him. Rock him in the rocking chair until he falls asleep and unsuccessfully try to transfer him back to the Rock ‘n Play. Realize that he peed on me while in the rocking chair.
  21. Change Baby A and put him in the Rock n’ Play.
  22. Go and change clothes, or maybe not because Baby B is crying.
  23. Pick up Baby B who woke up when Baby A cried about being wet.
  24. Rock Baby B in the rocking chair until he falls asleep.
  25. Record the timing and amount of all feedings and all diaper changes for all babies while rocking Baby B.
  26. Go downstairs with sleeping Baby B and make more bottles of formula.
  27. Cry, because Baby A is scheduled to feed again in 5 minutes.
  28. Do this, ad nauseum, day and night, for months.

And now imagine trying to do that AT NIGHT IN THE DARK.

And do you see what’s not listed? Eating. And sleeping. And bathing. And visiting with people. And doing anything that doesn’t involve babies or boobies.

I was so lucky. I had a constant stream of people who came to help me – my mom, my sister, my MIL and SIL, all of my aunts, my BFF. Ro’s godparents came over and brought dinner every Wed. These lovely people are the only reason that I ate. Or slept. Or bathed. And I am so grateful.

So as I watch my dear friend starting down this road I laugh and sigh and pack my bags because this time, thankfully, I am the cavalry.

 

 

 

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Tags: breastfeeding, breastfeeding twins, formula, infant twins, supplementing twins .

Getting the food in

Posted on May 8, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Eating .

I was going to title this post “How we did baby led weaning”, except that we didn’t actually DO baby led weaning. We did what worked for us. We did some purees and smooshed up stuff and some baby led weaning stuff and we played it by ear. Nobody died and they kept getting fatter so it seemed to work out! So, part of the purpose of this post is to prove that you don’t have to subscribe to one parenting philosophy and then its “til death do you part”. You modify, you adjust, you just go with it.

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Z-bone started solid foods at 5 months (see previous post). Ro-money started solids at about 7 months – he wasn’t interested until then. Plus, Z-bone had much better manual dexterity and more developed fine motor skills and so he thrived with the baby led weaning approach, while Ro-money really preferred to eat purees and smooshed up stuff (like bananas and avocados). He didn’t have the skill set to hold on to food well, even food with a “handle”. And you know what? THAT’S OK. Your twins are different people and will have different strengths and weaknesses and skills and learn things at different times and in different ways.

So with each baby we operated on a different time schedule, but followed a similar routine. I know you’re supposed to introduce one food at a time and then not introduce another for a few days to make sure there’s no reaction and we usually followed that rule, although sometimes I admit I introduced two things at once.

So here’s what we did, more or less:

  1. We started with smooshed up stuff – I would finger feed or spoon-feed mashed-up sweet potato, avocado and banana. If I was feeling particularly energetic I would give them some to smear around and lick off of their fingers. This strategy was more important with R then with Z. Ro was very into textures and often wouldn’t try foods until he had been able to touch and play with them, whereas Z was just hungry and wanted it in his stomach as fast as possible. During this period I was also introducing them to various purees – carrots, peaches, strawberries (careful with this one – allergies), peas, green beans, etc. I never really feed them just plain rice cereal, but I would often use it as a thickener in my purees (see previous post). Use rice cereal to thicken, breast milk or formula to thin.
  2. Once they seem to have mastered the whole swallowing and chewing thing I started giving them small pieces of soft foods, and also “food with handles”, like bananas with the stem attached and green beans. I would cut up bananas and avocados as well as pieces of roasted butternut squash and steamed carrots and let them feed themselves. *Here’s a trick – if they have a hard time picking up slippery food like bananas, roll it in a little bit of dry rice cereal. This coats the pieces and makes them easier to grip.
  3. After they were able to feed themselves the soft pieces of food I just gave them whatever we were eating, cut up into appropriate sized pieces. If we were having pork chops with green beans and baked potatoes then that’s what they were having too.

Banana_Baby

Now, at 20 months, they eat basically everything that we eat, including chili, thai food, and Mexican.

Other things:

  • At some point (12 months? 14 months?) I started letting them eat stuff with spoons, like hummus and yogurt. But to be truthful, this is super messy so I really only did it on bath night.
  • Don’t be afraid to give your baby/s spices. Don’t melt their face off with jalapenos or anything, but it’s not going to hurt them to lightly salt their edameme, or add some cinnamon to their sweet potatoes.
  • Try to give them as much variety in flavor and texture as you can, and don’t be discouraged if they don’t like something the first or second or even third time you offer it. Offer lots of foods, lots of times. It took Ro forever to eat broccoli, and now it’s his favorite.
  • Once they’re feeding themselves give them lots of things on their plates to choose from. I find that sometimes once my guys get going they’ll keep eating everything I give them, including the things that aren’t their favorite.
  • Chilled celery is excellent for teething. They can chew and chew on it, but the strings keep the pieces attached. You do need to monitor though, and occasionally cut off the gnawed on end. Also, don’t leave them unattended with the celery stalk just in case they manage to chomp off a chunk.
  • The things that worked for my babies may not work for your babies. THAT’S OK. There are a million tricks and tips and some may work for you and others might not. Some kids are big eaters (Z-bone) and others aren’t (Ro-money). There’s no hard and fast rule for how much they should be eating, or when. As long as they are growing and gaining weight you’re doing a good job!

Celery_chomping

What types of things worked for your kids? Do you have any advice that might help new MoM’s get food in the bellies of their littles?

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Tags: baby food, baby led weaning, feeding twins, teething tricks .

Feed me!

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Twins .

I have a confession to make. Promise you won’t turn me in to the mommy police? I starting feeding one of my twins solid food at 5 months – GASP! In my defense though, the little dude was hungry. At 4 months he was reaching for food as we were eating it. By 4.5 months he would watch every morsel we put in to our mouths and then work his little jaw furiously like he was chewing. So at 5 months I said “Ok fine, lets eat some sweet potatoes” and let me tell you, you have never seen anything as joyful as that little guy eating sweet potatoes. He gobbled them up and then crowed for more! So the next day we gave him avocado. He crushed it. He was ecstatic! Feed me, feed me!!

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So how did I know what to give him? How did I know how to prepare it? The short answer is that I didn’t. I had read a bunch of stuff on baby led weaning, and we did some of that. And I read some stuff about making homemade baby food and I utilized some of the things that I learned from that. I talked with my mom and my aunts and my friends and listened to what worked for them. But in general, I just followed my gut. What’s healthy? What’s nutritious? What skills does my baby have (or not have) that affects their ability to safely eat certain foods?

Second confession – I desperately want to be one of those crunchy granola moms who makes everything from scratch and only uses organic fruits and vegetables from farmers markets and CSA’s, but the reality is that I’m too broke, too lazy and too busy for all of that. So all of these recipes are either quick, I found a short cut to make it quick, or I did everything in batches so that I only had to do it once in a while. When possible I try to buy organic fresh fruits and veggies, but often frozen is cheaper and pretty close to nutritionally equivalent. It also stores better, obviously. I also stop at all the little produce stands on my way home from work to try and get fresh, seasonal, local stuff. That assuages my “granola mom wannabe” side quite a bit. But I digress.

Here is a quick breakdown of some of the things that I fed my boys and how I prepared it. In most instances I don’t give you any measured amount so that you can use however much you think you’ll need, depending on the number of babies you have and their appetites.

Sweet Potatoes 

Preheat oven to 350. Wash sweet potato/s, puncture with a fork, wrap in aluminum foil and place on a baking tray (they drip when they cook). Cook for about 40 minutes or until potato is soft when you squeeze it. You can also cook these in the microwave, just use moist paper towels instead of aluminum foil. Cook for 4 minutes and then rotate and cook for another 2-3 minutes or until potato is soft when you squeeze it.

Scoop out the center and mash it up with a little bit of formula or breast milk (just an ounce or two, depending on the size of the potato). Season with a little salt (or cinnamon) and allow to cool. Storage: I just put the leftovers in a Tupperware in the fridge. I made a fresh batch every few days.

Butternut squash (or sweet potato chunks)

The best thing since sliced bread is pre-cut butternut squash. I’ve almost sacrificed fingers trying to cut up whole butternut squash! So this recipe calls for the slightly more expensive but pre-cut squash, either frozen or fresh.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Oil (or spray) an oven safe dish. Toss the squash in 2 tbs of oil (olive or coconut), lightly sprinkle with salt or cinnamon and place in a single layer in the baking dish. Cook the squash for 10 minutes, then remove from oven and stir. Put back in oven, stirring occasionally for about 25 minutes or until squash is soft. Allow to cool. You can either smoosh this with a fork or put it in the blender. I usually smoosh – see discussion below about blender hatred.

Fruit purees

1461678_10152912374832780_8429975389851886554_nYou can do this with any frozen or fresh fruit, depending on the season. I often used the frozen mixed berries from Trader Joe’s. Put the fruit in the blender with a few ounces of formula or breast milk. I would also usually add half a banana for thickening – pretend like you’re making a breastmilk smoothie. Puree until smooth – about 1.5 minutes. Spoon the mixture into clean ice cube trays (I got mine at the dollar store) and put in the freezer. To thaw, take out a cube of puree and either let it thaw naturally or put it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. Always check the temperature to be sure it isn’t hot before you give it to your baby!! Also, I would sometimes mix this with rice cereal to make it a little bit more substantial. *I would usually make 4 or 5 different purees at a time so that I didn’t have to clean the blender often. I hate cleaning the blender. Some good combos are mango and banana, strawberry/blueberry, peach/mango/banana and strawberry/peach.

Apples and pears

I cooked apples and pears the same way so I’ll just lump them together. You can either boil these or bake them. If the pear is very ripe you can often just mash it up or puree it without cooking. Whenever possible I try to avoid cooking.

To boil – Boiling is faster but you lose some nutrients this way. Peel the fruit and cut into small chunks. Place the chunks in boiling water until soft, usually about 10-15 minutes (less for pears).

To bake – Preheat oven. Cut peeled fruit into small pieces and place in greased casserole dish in oven for 15-20 minutes or until tender.

Remove and puree in blender until smooth, adding water, formula or breastmilk until fruit reaches desired consistency. Spoon into ice cube trays and freeze.

Avocado

Cut the avocado in half and remove the seed. Scope out the green flesh with a tablespoon and discard the skin. Smash up the avocado flesh with a fork and season with a little salt and pepper. Avocado does not store well so only make what you need. Hint*-if you only plan to use half of the avocado leave the seed in the other half – it helps to keep it from browning.

Humocado or Avohummus

Prepare avocado as described above. Now mix the smooshed up avocado with a few tablespoons of hummus, either pre-made or homemade (If you’re feeling crunchy and have some extra time the recipe for homemade is below). This is super tasty (try some!) and very healthy. Lots of protein and good fats.

Hummus (without tahini)

  • 1 15 oz can of chickpeas, rinsed
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil
  • Juice from ½ of a lemon
  • ½ c of water
  • a pinch of salt, cumin and paprika (to taste)

Put in the blender and puree until creamy. If it’s too thick add a little bit more water until it reaches the desired consistency.

Carrots – you can roast them, boil them or steam them. I recommend roasting.

To roast – Preheat oven to 350. Put carrots in the oven for ~30 minutes or until they are tender.

To boil – Put carrots in a saucepan of boiling water. Simmer for 15-20 minutes or until tender.

To steam – Place in a steamer over a simmering pot of water and allow to steam until soft.

After the carrots are cooked mashed them up or puree them in the blender with some water, formula or breast milk. Spoon in to ice cube trays for freezing.

Broccoli

Wash thoroughly. Steam or boil the broccoli until it’s soft, remove from liquid and puree until mostly smooth. I found that the broccoli didn’t stay together well so I would usually add it to other things, like mashed potatoes or carrot puree. Don’t make too much – a little goes a long way. You can freeze this in ice cube trays just like a fruit puree.

Mashed Potatoes

Wash potatoes well, or peel ahead of time. (I hate peeling and cutting potatoes so I always just cook them with the skin on and then slip the skins off when they’ve cooked). Take your potatoes (let’s say you have 3) and place them in boiling water until they’re soft. Remove the skins and start adding breast milk or formula as you mash the potatoes with a potato masher or a fork. Keep mashing and adding milk until the potatoes are smooth and creamy. Add some salt. *I would often add stuff to the mashed potatoes before I gave it to them, like pureed broccoli or roasted mashed carrots. If you have extra it will keep in the fridge for a few days. I would sometimes freeze the it in single sized lunched bags but the texture can sometimes can strange when it thaws. Never freeze it more than once, or it gets a really weird texture.

Some other things you can try –

  • My foodie friend made her girls lamb and mint jelly. Just take your favorite recipe (in this case lamb – blergh!), cook it as usual and then puree. Mint jelly on the side.
  • Do you love Indian food? So do my boys! I would puree the chicken from chicken tika masala along with the sauce and they would gobble it up. Mix it with rice cereal, or puree some chickpeas or lentils to mix in. They were also wild about peas paneer.

*Tip – if your baby doesn’t like a particular type of food try combining it with something they do like. Baby doesn’t like peas? Mix some peas with some carrots. Won’t eat pears? Mix with apples. You get it.

**Be creative – let them explore taste and texture. Think of how amazing it must be to taste all of these wonderful flavors after having nothing but milk! Just be mindful of possible allergens (peanuts, shrimp, strawberries, etc), be aware that their stomachs may be a little sensitive, and be mindful of their ability to chew and swallow effectively.

My babies did a lot of coughing and sputtering (with occasional gagging) while they were getting the hang of food. Be watchful but don’t be paranoid.

Quick Guide

Good things to mash without cooking – bananas, avocado

Good things to mash after cooking – butternut squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, potatoes, peas

Good things to puree without cooking – mango, kiwi, strawberries, blueberries, peaches

Good things to puree after cooking – chickpeas, peas, lentils, green beans, carrots, broccoli, chicken, pork, apples, pears

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Do you have any favorite baby food recipes? Share them in the comments!

1 Comment .
Tags: baby food, baby led weaning, feeding twins, fruit puree, homemade baby food, homemade hummus, making baby food .

From the trenches – REAL advice for mothers of multiples

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Advice, Eating, Sleeping .

From my article in “Twins Magazine” Dec 2015.

Are you preparing to have twins, trips or more? People will give you A LOT of advice. My advice? DON’T LISTEN!! Here’s what people will say, and here’s my response.

Twin boys sitting in a laundry basket1) Sleep when the babies sleep – This may work for people that only have one baby, but when you have two or more babies there are days, weeks even, when there is always a baby awake. Also, everyone needs a little down time to take a shower, eat, use the bathroom, or just sit on the couch and try to regain some semblance of normalcy. When my twins were born I was exhausted, but I was also desperately in need of some ME time. Everybody telling me to go sleep all the time stressed me out.

2) Make a schedule for helpers before the babies are born– Really? Sounds great, but practically speaking this is almost impossible. You have no idea what you’re going to need. With multiple babies (and multiple schedules) you’re never quite sure what’s going to happen, or when. And if you’re breastfeeding or pumping, well, no one can do that for you. And I was painfully aware that no one was interested in doing my laundry or cleaning my house; they wanted to see the babies. They might bring a casserole (YES – BRING ALL THE CASSEROLES) but that was the limit. Plus, I didn’t want people washing my dirty underwear or seeing my ratty socks. What’s a future MoM to do? Don’t worry about scheduling help beforehand, ask for all of the casseroles in single portion sized bags and if people want to help and you have something for them to do, then by all means, take them up on the offer.

not_yawning3) Put the babies on the same schedule – This works for some MoMs, but I couldn’t make it happen when my babies were newborns. I was nursing one baby and pumping for the other so feeding times were difficult and never synced up. Additionally, one of my babies just requires less sleep than the other. They are two separate people after all. If I kept the sleepy one up to get him on the schedule of the wakeful baby, he got so overtired he COULDN’T sleep. And here’s some twin math for you. 1 sleeping baby does not = 2 sleeping babies, but 1 crying baby = 2 crying babies.

4)  “Follow the advice in X book, it works like a charm”– Stop reading books. (Not entirely of course). But recognize that books should just be guidelines, not laws. I was so overwhelmed for the first few weeks (cough cough, months) that I was desperate for help and advice. I followed books to the letter and felt like a failure when the tricks didn’t work for me. It wasn’t until I threw up my hands and said “Forget it!” and followed my intuition that things started to improve. I was so stressed out about messing up. For instance, I was terrified to give them pacifiers because of “nipple confusion”. So I often had two screaming babies who couldn’t comfort themselves and I didn’t have enough arms to comfort them both. My best friend finally said “Just give them the binkies. Nipple confusion is better than the three of you crying all day.” I popped pacifiers in their mouths and Viola!, peace. I just needed someone to give me permission to follow my instincts. So here it is – I give you permission. Follow your instincts. You won’t ruin your babies, I promise. Mama hand and baby hand

5) Breast is best – No it isn’t. BEST IS BEST. Whatever is best for you and your family is best. Of course breast milk is wonderful, the bonding time is wonderful and if you can breastfeed your babies you absolutely should. But if you can’t THAT’S OK. I don’t know a single person who had an easy time breastfeeding. It’s hard. It takes a lot of work. And sometimes, through no fault of your own, it just doesn’t happen. And that’s if you only have one baby! When you add in a second baby, and the fact that many multiples are born before they’ve developed the skills necessary for nursing, it can be almost impossible. I spent months feeling like an utter failure because I had to supplement with formula, and because only one baby would latch. I was bound and determined to make enough milk for both of them – so I was pumping, nursing and bottle-feeding round the clock. The problem was, I was trying so hard to do it all that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was barely sleeping. I was grouchy, tired, miserable and run down. My marriage was suffering; my relationship with my older child was suffering. Looking back, it wasn’t worth it. Let me give you the advice that snapped me out of it – “Your babies need a mother, not a martyr”. After I got the message I still pumped and I still nursed, but I gave myself a little bit of grace, and when I decided to wean them at 7 months, rather than at a year as I planned, I was ok with it. And so were they. I was a happier, more attentive mother. I’m glad I made the effort, but I wish I had had the insight and confidence to temper my efforts and maintain a more balanced family life. Again, what’s best for you and your family is the best thing for your babies. That may be the breast, and it may not.

6) Finally – don’t compare yourself to mothers that don’t have multiples. Even if they have a lot of kids. Even if their kids are close in age. It’s just not the same. Don’t expect to be able to baby wear, or go to baby yoga, or do swim classes like those moms. If you can that’s great; if not, that’s ok. You’re not depriving your babies. If you’re keeping your babies and yourself and your family happy and healthy then you’re doing a great job! You do you, MoM, you do you.

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Tags: advice for twin moms, breast feeding, infant twins, nipple confusion, nursing, Twin advice .

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