Twinning at MotherHood

Twin Pregnancy – A (Somewhat) Weekly Photojournal

Posted on June 1, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Twin Pregnancy, Twins .

Every woman worries about the changes to her body during pregnancy, and this is especially true when you’re pregnant with twins. I spent a lot of time online trying to figure out what to expect – how big was I going to get? When would I be too big to fly? To drive? To walk? So, here I have for you a photo timeline of my twin pregnancy. I wasn’t together enough to always wear the same shirt, or have the cute little blackboard with the weeks and baby vegetable size, or take a photo in the same spot on the same day every week. I missed weeks. I’m guessing on the timing of a few of these. But they should provide you with a bit of insight on what to expect when you’re expecting twins.

5.5 weeks

8.5 weeks

10 weeks

This was when I started wearing maternity clothes. Jeans were too uncomfortable and I was never a big fan of the Bellaband, although I know some people loved it. I did the old “hair tie through the button hole and around the button” trick for a while but frankly maternity pants are just better. I wish I could still wear them….*sigh*.

11.5 weeks

13.5 weeks

14 weeks

14.5 weeks

15 weeks

17.5 weeks

Right about now was when things started to get…uncomfortable.

22 weeks

23 weeks

24 weeks

I flew cross-country at 25 weeks. I had no problems but I was glad I picked an aisle seat because there were a lot of bathroom trips.

25.5 weeks

29.5 weeks

At this point I am measuring full term, and I am starting to have a hard time breathing as Baby B is moving up and smashing my left lung.

32 weeks

33 weeks

33 weeks 5 days

34 weeks 1 day

36 weeks

37 weeks 1 day

37.5 weeks

I gave birth just shy of 39 weeks.

Babies arrive!

3 weeks postpartum

6 weeks postpartum

7 weeks postpartum

9 weeks postpartum

I went from 122 lbs to 183 lbs during my pregnancy but by the time I got home from the hospital I was only 12 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight. Fluid retention + 2 giant babies + 1 giant placenta = lots of extra weight! By 12 weeks postpartum I was back to pre-baby weight. I wasn’t trying for that, although I wasn’t sad about it either. I was eating a ton (mostly healthy, sometimes not) and breastfeeding but really not doing anything special. I don’t think I was able to put on a lot of weight because 1) I had nausea and then terrible heartburn that made eating painful, 2) My abdomen was filled with giant babies so I had no where to put food, and 3) The giant babies sucked me dry of all nutrients.

I also don’t have any stretch marks, although I have no idea how that’s possible as I went from a 24″ waist to a 53″ waist. Sometimes genetics just deals you a good hand I guess. I did put baby oil in my bath each night and I used Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Lotion morning and night but who knows if that worked. I liked the way they smelled and they helped with the terrible itching caused by the rapid growth of my tummy. And I figured that it couldn’t hurt!

Do you have questions about your twin pregnancy? Ask away!

Getting the food in

Posted on May 8, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Eating .

I was going to title this post “How we did baby led weaning”, except that we didn’t actually DO baby led weaning. We did what worked for us. We did some purees and smooshed up stuff and some baby led weaning stuff and we played it by ear. Nobody died and they kept getting fatter so it seemed to work out! So, part of the purpose of this post is to prove that you don’t have to subscribe to one parenting philosophy and then its “til death do you part”. You modify, you adjust, you just go with it.

Z-bone started solid foods at 5 months (see previous post). Ro-money started solids at about 7 months – he wasn’t interested until then. Plus, Z-bone had much better manual dexterity and more developed fine motor skills and so he thrived with the baby led weaning approach, while Ro-money really preferred to eat purees and smooshed up stuff (like bananas and avocados). He didn’t have the skill set to hold on to food well, even food with a “handle”. And you know what? THAT’S OK. Your twins are different people and will have different strengths and weaknesses and skills and learn things at different times and in different ways.

So with each baby we operated on a different time schedule, but followed a similar routine. I know you’re supposed to introduce one food at a time and then not introduce another for a few days to make sure there’s no reaction and we usually followed that rule, although sometimes I admit I introduced two things at once.

So here’s what we did, more or less:

We started with smooshed up stuff – I would finger feed or spoon-feed mashed-up sweet potato, avocado and banana. If I was feeling particularly energetic I would give them some to smear around and lick off of their fingers. This strategy was more important with R then with Z. Ro was very into textures and often wouldn’t try foods until he had been able to touch and play with them, whereas Z was just hungry and wanted it in his stomach as fast as possible. During this period I was also introducing them to various purees – carrots, peaches, strawberries (careful with this one – allergies), peas, green beans, etc. I never really feed them just plain rice cereal, but I would often use it as a thickener in my purees (see previous post). Use rice cereal to thicken, breast milk or formula to thin.
Once they seem to have mastered the whole swallowing and chewing thing I started giving them small pieces of soft foods, and also “food with handles”, like bananas with the stem attached and green beans. I would cut up bananas and avocados as well as pieces of roasted butternut squash and steamed carrots and let them feed themselves. *Here’s a trick – if they have a hard time picking up slippery food like bananas, roll it in a little bit of dry rice cereal. This coats the pieces and makes them easier to grip.
After they were able to feed themselves the soft pieces of food I just gave them whatever we were eating, cut up into appropriate sized pieces. If we were having pork chops with green beans and baked potatoes then that’s what they were having too.

Now, at 20 months, they eat basically everything that we eat, including chili, thai food, and Mexican.

Other things:

At some point (12 months? 14 months?) I started letting them eat stuff with spoons, like hummus and yogurt. But to be truthful, this is super messy so I really only did it on bath night.
Don’t be afraid to give your baby/s spices. Don’t melt their face off with jalapenos or anything, but it’s not going to hurt them to lightly salt their edameme, or add some cinnamon to their sweet potatoes.
Try to give them as much variety in flavor and texture as you can, and don’t be discouraged if they don’t like something the first or second or even third time you offer it. Offer lots of foods, lots of times. It took Ro forever to eat broccoli, and now it’s his favorite.
Once they’re feeding themselves give them lots of things on their plates to choose from. I find that sometimes once my guys get going they’ll keep eating everything I give them, including the things that aren’t their favorite.
Chilled celery is excellent for teething. They can chew and chew on it, but the strings keep the pieces attached. You do need to monitor though, and occasionally cut off the gnawed on end. Also, don’t leave them unattended with the celery stalk just in case they manage to chomp off a chunk.
The things that worked for my babies may not work for your babies. THAT’S OK. There are a million tricks and tips and some may work for you and others might not. Some kids are big eaters (Z-bone) and others aren’t (Ro-money). There’s no hard and fast rule for how much they should be eating, or when. As long as they are growing and gaining weight you’re doing a good job!

What types of things worked for your kids? Do you have any advice that might help new MoM’s get food in the bellies of their littles?

Pregnancy Announcement for Twins

Posted on April 25, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Twins .

Are you trying to come up with a cute (but not too cute) and funny (but not too funny) way to announce your twin pregnancy? It’s hard to come up with something new and original.

You’ve got the buns in the oven (there’s two!) and the super cute line up of shoes with the announcement of “We’ve grown by 4 feet!”. And then there’s the “Dad + Mom = 4!” and the sonograms of the babies with light sabers Photoshopped in. To be honest I really do love them all! I spent forever on Pinterest looking for inspiration but in the end we decided to go with some good old fashion bathroom humor. It fits our style.

(The thing that you don’t see is that I actually did have terrible morning sickness and the act of leaning over the toilet…well it was a good thing he was holding my hair!)

What did you do to announce your twin pregnancy?

Feed me!

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Eating, Twins .

I have a confession to make. Promise you won’t turn me in to the mommy police? I starting feeding one of my twins solid food at 5 months – GASP! In my defense though, the little dude was hungry. At 4 months he was reaching for food as we were eating it. By 4.5 months he would watch every morsel we put in to our mouths and then work his little jaw furiously like he was chewing. So at 5 months I said “Ok fine, lets eat some sweet potatoes” and let me tell you, you have never seen anything as joyful as that little guy eating sweet potatoes. He gobbled them up and then crowed for more! So the next day we gave him avocado. He crushed it. He was ecstatic! Feed me, feed me!!

So how did I know what to give him? How did I know how to prepare it? The short answer is that I didn’t. I had read a bunch of stuff on baby led weaning, and we did some of that. And I read some stuff about making homemade baby food and I utilized some of the things that I learned from that. I talked with my mom and my aunts and my friends and listened to what worked for them. But in general, I just followed my gut. What’s healthy? What’s nutritious? What skills does my baby have (or not have) that affects their ability to safely eat certain foods?

Second confession – I desperately want to be one of those crunchy granola moms who makes everything from scratch and only uses organic fruits and vegetables from farmers markets and CSA’s, but the reality is that I’m too broke, too lazy and too busy for all of that. So all of these recipes are either quick, I found a short cut to make it quick, or I did everything in batches so that I only had to do it once in a while. When possible I try to buy organic fresh fruits and veggies, but often frozen is cheaper and pretty close to nutritionally equivalent. It also stores better, obviously. I also stop at all the little produce stands on my way home from work to try and get fresh, seasonal, local stuff. That assuages my “granola mom wannabe” side quite a bit. But I digress.

Here is a quick breakdown of some of the things that I fed my boys and how I prepared it. In most instances I don’t give you any measured amount so that you can use however much you think you’ll need, depending on the number of babies you have and their appetites.

Sweet Potatoes

Preheat oven to 350. Wash sweet potato/s, puncture with a fork, wrap in aluminum foil and place on a baking tray (they drip when they cook). Cook for about 40 minutes or until potato is soft when you squeeze it. You can also cook these in the microwave, just use moist paper towels instead of aluminum foil. Cook for 4 minutes and then rotate and cook for another 2-3 minutes or until potato is soft when you squeeze it.

Scoop out the center and mash it up with a little bit of formula or breast milk (just an ounce or two, depending on the size of the potato). Season with a little salt (or cinnamon) and allow to cool. Storage: I just put the leftovers in a Tupperware in the fridge. I made a fresh batch every few days.

Butternut squash (or sweet potato chunks)

The best thing since sliced bread is pre-cut butternut squash. I’ve almost sacrificed fingers trying to cut up whole butternut squash! So this recipe calls for the slightly more expensive but pre-cut squash, either frozen or fresh.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Oil (or spray) an oven safe dish. Toss the squash in 2 tbs of oil (olive or coconut), lightly sprinkle with salt or cinnamon and place in a single layer in the baking dish. Cook the squash for 10 minutes, then remove from oven and stir. Put back in oven, stirring occasionally for about 25 minutes or until squash is soft. Allow to cool. You can either smoosh this with a fork or put it in the blender. I usually smoosh – see discussion below about blender hatred.

Fruit purees

You can do this with any frozen or fresh fruit, depending on the season. I often used the frozen mixed berries from Trader Joe’s. Put the fruit in the blender with a few ounces of formula or breast milk. I would also usually add half a banana for thickening – pretend like you’re making a breastmilk smoothie. Puree until smooth – about 1.5 minutes. Spoon the mixture into clean ice cube trays (I got mine at the dollar store) and put in the freezer. To thaw, take out a cube of puree and either let it thaw naturally or put it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. Always check the temperature to be sure it isn’t hot before you give it to your baby!! Also, I would sometimes mix this with rice cereal to make it a little bit more substantial. *I would usually make 4 or 5 different purees at a time so that I didn’t have to clean the blender often. I hate cleaning the blender. Some good combos are mango and banana, strawberry/blueberry, peach/mango/banana and strawberry/peach.

Apples and pears

I cooked apples and pears the same way so I’ll just lump them together. You can either boil these or bake them. If the pear is very ripe you can often just mash it up or puree it without cooking. Whenever possible I try to avoid cooking.

To boil – Boiling is faster but you lose some nutrients this way. Peel the fruit and cut into small chunks. Place the chunks in boiling water until soft, usually about 10-15 minutes (less for pears).

To bake – Preheat oven. Cut peeled fruit into small pieces and place in greased casserole dish in oven for 15-20 minutes or until tender.

Remove and puree in blender until smooth, adding water, formula or breastmilk until fruit reaches desired consistency. Spoon into ice cube trays and freeze.

Avocado

Cut the avocado in half and remove the seed. Scope out the green flesh with a tablespoon and discard the skin. Smash up the avocado flesh with a fork and season with a little salt and pepper. Avocado does not store well so only make what you need. Hint*-if you only plan to use half of the avocado leave the seed in the other half – it helps to keep it from browning.

Humocado or Avohummus

Prepare avocado as described above. Now mix the smooshed up avocado with a few tablespoons of hummus, either pre-made or homemade (If you’re feeling crunchy and have some extra time the recipe for homemade is below). This is super tasty (try some!) and very healthy. Lots of protein and good fats.

Hummus (without tahini)

1 15 oz can of chickpeas, rinsed
1 clove of garlic
2-3 tablespoons of olive oil
Juice from ½ of a lemon
½ c of water
a pinch of salt, cumin and paprika (to taste)

Put in the blender and puree until creamy. If it’s too thick add a little bit more water until it reaches the desired consistency.

Carrots – you can roast them, boil them or steam them. I recommend roasting.

To roast – Preheat oven to 350. Put carrots in the oven for ~30 minutes or until they are tender.

To boil – Put carrots in a saucepan of boiling water. Simmer for 15-20 minutes or until tender.

To steam – Place in a steamer over a simmering pot of water and allow to steam until soft.

After the carrots are cooked mashed them up or puree them in the blender with some water, formula or breast milk. Spoon in to ice cube trays for freezing.

Broccoli

Wash thoroughly. Steam or boil the broccoli until it’s soft, remove from liquid and puree until mostly smooth. I found that the broccoli didn’t stay together well so I would usually add it to other things, like mashed potatoes or carrot puree. Don’t make too much – a little goes a long way. You can freeze this in ice cube trays just like a fruit puree.

Mashed Potatoes

Wash potatoes well, or peel ahead of time. (I hate peeling and cutting potatoes so I always just cook them with the skin on and then slip the skins off when they’ve cooked). Take your potatoes (let’s say you have 3) and place them in boiling water until they’re soft. Remove the skins and start adding breast milk or formula as you mash the potatoes with a potato masher or a fork. Keep mashing and adding milk until the potatoes are smooth and creamy. Add some salt. *I would often add stuff to the mashed potatoes before I gave it to them, like pureed broccoli or roasted mashed carrots. If you have extra it will keep in the fridge for a few days. I would sometimes freeze the it in single sized lunched bags but the texture can sometimes can strange when it thaws. Never freeze it more than once, or it gets a really weird texture.

Some other things you can try –

My foodie friend made her girls lamb and mint jelly. Just take your favorite recipe (in this case lamb – blergh!), cook it as usual and then puree. Mint jelly on the side.
Do you love Indian food? So do my boys! I would puree the chicken from chicken tika masala along with the sauce and they would gobble it up. Mix it with rice cereal, or puree some chickpeas or lentils to mix in. They were also wild about peas paneer.

*Tip – if your baby doesn’t like a particular type of food try combining it with something they do like. Baby doesn’t like peas? Mix some peas with some carrots. Won’t eat pears? Mix with apples. You get it.

**Be creative – let them explore taste and texture. Think of how amazing it must be to taste all of these wonderful flavors after having nothing but milk! Just be mindful of possible allergens (peanuts, shrimp, strawberries, etc), be aware that their stomachs may be a little sensitive, and be mindful of their ability to chew and swallow effectively.

My babies did a lot of coughing and sputtering (with occasional gagging) while they were getting the hang of food. Be watchful but don’t be paranoid.

Quick Guide

Good things to mash without cooking – bananas, avocado

Good things to mash after cooking – butternut squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, potatoes, peas

Good things to puree without cooking – mango, kiwi, strawberries, blueberries, peaches

Good things to puree after cooking – chickpeas, peas, lentils, green beans, carrots, broccoli, chicken, pork, apples, pears

Do you have any favorite baby food recipes? Share them in the comments!

From the trenches – REAL advice for mothers of multiples

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Advice, Eating, Sleeping .

From my article in “Twins Magazine” Dec 2015.

Are you preparing to have twins, trips or more? People will give you A LOT of advice. My advice? DON’T LISTEN!! Here’s what people will say, and here’s my response.

1) Sleep when the babies sleep – This may work for people that only have one baby, but when you have two or more babies there are days, weeks even, when there is always a baby awake. Also, everyone needs a little down time to take a shower, eat, use the bathroom, or just sit on the couch and try to regain some semblance of normalcy. When my twins were born I was exhausted, but I was also desperately in need of some ME time. Everybody telling me to go sleep all the time stressed me out.

2) Make a schedule for helpers before the babies are born– Really? Sounds great, but practically speaking this is almost impossible. You have no idea what you’re going to need. With multiple babies (and multiple schedules) you’re never quite sure what’s going to happen, or when. And if you’re breastfeeding or pumping, well, no one can do that for you. And I was painfully aware that no one was interested in doing my laundry or cleaning my house; they wanted to see the babies. They might bring a casserole (YES – BRING ALL THE CASSEROLES) but that was the limit. Plus, I didn’t want people washing my dirty underwear or seeing my ratty socks. What’s a future MoM to do? Don’t worry about scheduling help beforehand, ask for all of the casseroles in single portion sized bags and if people want to help and you have something for them to do, then by all means, take them up on the offer.

3) Put the babies on the same schedule – This works for some MoMs, but I couldn’t make it happen when my babies were newborns. I was nursing one baby and pumping for the other so feeding times were difficult and never synced up. Additionally, one of my babies just requires less sleep than the other. They are two separate people after all. If I kept the sleepy one up to get him on the schedule of the wakeful baby, he got so overtired he COULDN’T sleep. And here’s some twin math for you. 1 sleeping baby does not = 2 sleeping babies, but 1 crying baby = 2 crying babies.

4) “Follow the advice in X book, it works like a charm”– Stop reading books. (Not entirely of course). But recognize that books should just be guidelines, not laws. I was so overwhelmed for the first few weeks (cough cough, months) that I was desperate for help and advice. I followed books to the letter and felt like a failure when the tricks didn’t work for me. It wasn’t until I threw up my hands and said “Forget it!” and followed my intuition that things started to improve. I was so stressed out about messing up. For instance, I was terrified to give them pacifiers because of “nipple confusion”. So I often had two screaming babies who couldn’t comfort themselves and I didn’t have enough arms to comfort them both. My best friend finally said “Just give them the binkies. Nipple confusion is better than the three of you crying all day.” I popped pacifiers in their mouths and Viola!, peace. I just needed someone to give me permission to follow my instincts. So here it is – I give you permission. Follow your instincts. You won’t ruin your babies, I promise.

5) Breast is best – No it isn’t. BEST IS BEST. Whatever is best for you and your family is best. Of course breast milk is wonderful, the bonding time is wonderful and if you can breastfeed your babies you absolutely should. But if you can’t THAT’S OK. I don’t know a single person who had an easy time breastfeeding. It’s hard. It takes a lot of work. And sometimes, through no fault of your own, it just doesn’t happen. And that’s if you only have one baby! When you add in a second baby, and the fact that many multiples are born before they’ve developed the skills necessary for nursing, it can be almost impossible. I spent months feeling like an utter failure because I had to supplement with formula, and because only one baby would latch. I was bound and determined to make enough milk for both of them – so I was pumping, nursing and bottle-feeding round the clock. The problem was, I was trying so hard to do it all that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was barely sleeping. I was grouchy, tired, miserable and run down. My marriage was suffering; my relationship with my older child was suffering. Looking back, it wasn’t worth it. Let me give you the advice that snapped me out of it – “Your babies need a mother, not a martyr”. After I got the message I still pumped and I still nursed, but I gave myself a little bit of grace, and when I decided to wean them at 7 months, rather than at a year as I planned, I was ok with it. And so were they. I was a happier, more attentive mother. I’m glad I made the effort, but I wish I had had the insight and confidence to temper my efforts and maintain a more balanced family life. Again, what’s best for you and your family is the best thing for your babies. That may be the breast, and it may not.

6) Finally – don’t compare yourself to mothers that don’t have multiples. Even if they have a lot of kids. Even if their kids are close in age. It’s just not the same. Don’t expect to be able to baby wear, or go to baby yoga, or do swim classes like those moms. If you can that’s great; if not, that’s ok. You’re not depriving your babies. If you’re keeping your babies and yourself and your family happy and healthy then you’re doing a great job! You do you, MoM, you do you.

The eyes are the windows to the soul

Posted on April 23, 2016 by Wendy Posted in Birth, Twins .

I’m taking part in an academic research project that’s looking at the experiences and feelings of women who have experience C-section births. We were asked to take pictures that made us think of our birth experience or that brought up some of the complex emotions that that experience had inspired. Then we were supposed to upload these pictures along with an explanation of the image. This was one of the pictures that I took, and my story.

I desperately wanted to have my twins naturally. I knew that the odds where against that, but I still forced my husband to not just one but TWO “hippy dippy” natural birthing classes. I did all of the exercises to get babies to drop and to get them to turn. I stretched and massaged. I wrote birth plans for both natural deliveries and C-section births. But when I woke up at 2:30 in the morning and saw the blood I knew that my options had changed.

At Labor and Delivery triage, the nurse slowly and calmly looked for the heartbeats of my boys and attached the heart monitors. She chatted about mundane things. Finally she said, “Now I’ll check to see about your bleeding”. When she inserted the speculum the gush of blood soaked the bed and dripped on to the floor. Flustered, she excused herself. Within seconds lights were flashing and people surrounded me. The were taking vitals, inserting IV’s, coming at me with razors and forms to sign. As I was being swiftly prepared for the OR, the Doctor (who wasn’t my actual doctor but the attending on call doctor whom I had never met) came in and introduced herself. She asked if I had any questions. I told her that I had a birth plan and “hold on let me get it for you and we’d really like delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to ski…”. She cut me off and said “If we don’t get these babies out as quick as we can it will be bad news for all 3 of you.” I agreed that “yes, then we should do that, yes, immediately.” I was whisked away to the OR and my husband was sent in another direction to put on his scrubs and wait to be allowed in.

The OR was controlled chaos. There were so many people – the anesthesiologist, the doctor, the surgical team assigned to me, and neonatal teams for each of the babies. The room was literally filled with people – every one of them a stranger. Everyone was organizing, preparing, hurrying – moving in all directions all around me. And I was left sitting alone on the table in the eye of this hurricane of motion and preparation, utterly ignored. All of this was for me, about me, and yet I was invisible. I was enormously pregnant, freezing cold and bleeding profusely – I could feel blood on my legs – I knew I was sitting in a puddle of blood. I didn’t know if my babies were alright. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. When the anesthesiologist finally asked me to hold still and take a deep breath I stared to shake – I was so afraid of that needle, so afraid of what was going to happen next, so afraid for my babies. Out of the corner of her eye the doctor must have seen my tears, or recognized my fear. She stopped her hurried preparations and came over to me. She put her arms around my shoulders and laid her forehead against mine. She held me in her arms and she held me with her eyes. She said quietly “You are doing great, and everything is going to be ok. We’re going to take a deep breath together and then you’re going to feel a pinch. Then I’m going to go and get your babies for you. You are going to hold your babies in just a few minutes. Be brave, mama. I will take care of you. I will care take of all of you.” She held me while the anesthesiologist inserted the needle. She held me until I stopped shaking. She held me until I found my courage.

This picture is my attempt at showing what it felt like to be held by her in that terrifying moment. Held by her arms and by her eyes. I was totally alone and completely helpless. She recognized my fear and she touched me, and held me and comforted me. She became my focal point. In that moment of vulnerability what I remember most is her compassion and her eyes. She became my anchor and I put my life and the lives of my unborn children willing into her hands.

So that I don’t leave you hanging, she did, indeed, go and get my babies. She held my first-born over the sheet and laughed “He’s a big fat juicy one!!” Both of my boys were born angry and squalling and healthy and perfect. I, on the other hand, suffered massive postpartum hemorrhaging and was apparently in dire straights. But, true to her word, she took care of us. Of all of us.

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